barely fatal

Today, dear readers, barely fatal are proud to present to you an exclusive interview with ever famous Alyx Vance, sidekick of no other than Gordon Freeman, Black Mesa survivor and savior of City 17.

barely: Welcome Miss Vance, thank you for coming. We know your time is very limited, so we will keep our questions short. Can you please express to our readership, what was your first thought when you met Mr. Freeman, the hero of Black Mesa?

barely: Err… okay. Explain to us please, how did you feel when your father, Dr. Eli Vance, was kidnapped by the Combine and taken to their prison?

barely: That’s understandable. Mr. Freeman later helped to free your father, is that correct?

barely: We guessed as much. Now to our final question: How did you react when you learned that – when he was asked what he thought about your part in saving City 17 – Mr. Freeman said, quote “She didn’t really help much, but man, she does have an awfully nice bum”, unquote?

barely: Thank you for the interview, Miss Vance.

So market analysts finally realized that their episodic concept blows. It doesn’t take a Super Geek(tm) to notice that interrupted storylines, re-use of content, one-night-playtimes and non-existant reasons to re-play the game(s) that cost even more than ‘normal’ ones suck.

I mean, look at it: The only reason to buy an episodic game is that you don’t have to wait as long for the next part. There could be other reasons, like new features, game modes, levels, enemies – in short, content – but what I have seen so far, it’s all about money. You pay 20 bucks for an episode with 4 or 5 hours of game time. A full title costs, what, 40 bucks and delivers, say, 20 hours. Do the maths.

Half-Life 2 might actually work, as far as I know they put work in it – but also re-used levels and well-known enemies and elements from the main game. No, what annoys me the most is Battlefield 2: Armored Fury. It brings 3 maps, 4 vehicles that only work on these maps, and it can only be played in multiplayer mode online. It costs 10 bucks. Not too much? Oh yes, if you happen to know PRMM.

Poject Reality Mini Mod is a (not-so-mini-anymore) mod for Battlefield 2, which really introduces new stuff, and it’s for free. New vehicles, maps, game modes … I even prefer it over the original game.

• You don’t see your enemies’ names
• You don’t see who you killed or by whome you were killed
• Many, many bonus points for team players
• No unrealistic gadgets like all-seeing satellite scans or drones
• New weapons, better balanced classes
• New, interesting and very challenging (infantry) maps
• One-by-one flag capture, and other game modes

If you are into Battlefield 2, give it a try, you won’t be disappointed.

Now wasn’t that a messed-up post, worthy of starring the final part of a trilogy. And remember: The WorldCup comes and goes. barely stays. Huzzah.

The marketing guys say, Episode 1 did good. They say we should hurry the next part while it’s still on people’s minds. Same price, of course, and just as short. But: We promised more. What should we do?

We decide to invest more time on eye candy and less on quality, people’s gonna buy it anyway – won’t they?

So Episode 2 goes without words. I took those pictures on my way home, today:

(this is a chair cushion)

Outlook on Episode 3:
Marketing says EP2 was poo. EP3 gets delayed again and again. Management decides to drastically change the whole concept and give it a last chance. Can barely make it a hit add-on? Will the fans of the original be … err, displeased with the changes? And what does this have to do with Battlefield?

Germany is having a WorldCup, I’m having hamburgers

This gonna be a blogging series. Lets make it a trilogy, trilogies always rock by default. I deliver this post in three episodes, just like the latest installments of Sin or Half-Life 2 come. Yes, we’re always fresh, we recognize a trend when we see one, we here at barely fatal.

So, Episode 1:
Lets start with a link. Do not click it if you despise the WorldCup, ’cause it’s a football link. It features a Patriotism-Meter. It leads to a German site, but you get the idea, I guess.
The lovely thingy measures the mental state of the nation, as I’d like to say. They talk about flags and banners on cars, balconies and, basically, everywhere else. So you know I didn’t exaggerate in the other post a few days ago. The ‘football soul’ of the nation is in high spirit, see, the WorldCup starts today. That’s good news, because it means the end of it all comes a step closer.

That’s it for Episode 1. What, you expected more for your bucks? Hey I mean, you gotta stop on top of things, don’t ya? So we have even more exciting stuff for Episode 2 left – like pictures I plan to take on my way home, more news on the most overrated event in the world and more. More!